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Laser-Guided Tactical Necktie

$29.99 | ThinkGeek→

It’s time to take the threat of a “hostile corporate takeover” seriously. Get geared up with the Tactical Necktie. Need a secure place to carry breath mints or M&Ms? No Problem. Need to direct attention to a really important graph on an otherwise dull PowerPoint Presentation? You’re covered. Need to hang yet another object from your neck? The Tactical Necktie can fix that. Complete with MOLLE system, D-loop, removable pouch by quick release buckle, and a class II red laser pointer, you’ll be well equipped to handle any professional dress situation.

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Possible tactical scenarios where this tie might be necessary to your very survival/fashion sense include:

  • CIA funerals
  • Communist weddings
  • International spy ring corporate office parties
  • Church